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Avoiding the Grand Manipulator

Let's face it...some women can be ruthless. There are certain women in the world men simply DO NOT want to get mixed up with. I call these women "grand manipulators" because they will use every trick they can think of to get you to do what they want, when they want, and how they want.

I once knew a woman who was the epitome of manipulation. Her view of men was that they were a necessary evil to get the things out of life she wanted. She would use them, abuse them, and then kick them to the curb once they had served their purpose.

In the beginning of the relationship she always seemed to be a sweet, caring, nurturing woman to the men she chose as her prey. Once she'd gotten what she wanted from them she'd turn into a screaming witch of a woman in order to drive the man away from her.

For instance, she once decided she needed a new car but was unwilling to foot the bill to pay for it herself. Not that she couldn't afford it, because she could. She had a job and earned a very good salary...good enough that she could afford to put 40% of each paycheck into her retirement savings. But to her it was unthinkable to temporarily lower the percentage she put away in order to pay for a car herself.

She found a vulnerable man as her prey. It was truly amazing how she lured this man into her life and her bed. She put on her best act for him. She was all sweetness, smiles, and honey. Once she had him "hooked", so to speak, she began to play on his sympathies by complaining often about her old worn-out car and how she just "couldn't afford to replace it because there's no room in my budget for an expense like that".

She played the game well and knew just which buttons to push and when with this man. Eventually, after promising to marry him, the poor bloke bought her a car and put it in her name. Bingo! She got what she had wanted all along and a mere ten days later she suddenly broke it off with him, leaving him baffled as to what he'd done wrong.

Actually, his only crime was believing in her and falling for her ploy. I really felt sorry for the poor guy because he didn't even see it coming.

There are methods a man can use to distinguish the "grand manipulator" from the good girls who only want to be loved and nothing more. There are signs to look for and indications right from the start of any dating relationship which will tell a man whether or not she's the "right" kind of girl.

If soon after meeting a lady she begins to tell you sob stories about her poor, pathetic life it could be an indication she may be looking toward you to rescue her in some way.

Perhaps she's just going through a rough spot in her life. Most women prefer to work out their problems on their own. If she shows indications she's taking care of her dilemma by herself, it's a very good sign she may be a "keeper". It shows she's independent, resourceful, and self-reliant.

Watch out for the woman who continues to complain about her situation and begins asking you for help in some way. Feel free to offer suggestions or solutions to her problems if you wish. Just be very careful not to be too helpful.

It's a man's natural instinct to jump in and be the "hero". But don't offer to help her too quickly because you may become the unwary victim of another "grand manipulator" yourself.

Copyright 2005 Deborah Willis All Rights Reserved

Deborah Willis is the author of ATTRACT WOMEN -- The Average Man's Guide To Attracting, Dating, Loving, and Maintaining Relationships with Women. For more down-to-earth advice for men visit ATTRACT WOMEN

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